


Politics is boring when everyone agrees

by sKinny_b0i (orphan_account)



Category: Gintama
Genre: Gen, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27967709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sKinny_b0i
Summary: One is a Joui Rebel, the other is the ex-president of the United States
Relationships: Katsura Kotarou & Barack Obama
Comments: 11
Kudos: 29





	Politics is boring when everyone agrees

Just as Obama was enjoying his down time in his study with his book, one of his bodyguards bursted through door in a panic. His uniform was tattered and torn, blood trickled down his forehead.

Obama slowly put his book down.

"Sir!" he said, his lips quivering, "a Japanese terrorist is demanding to speak with you," 

"I'm not a Japanese terrorist, " a Japanese man wearing a traditional Kimono steadily walked in as if he totally didn't just severely injure several of the guards outside, "I'm Katsura," 

"He disarmed five of our men and forced us to bring him to you," the bodyguard explained, "I'm pretty sure you are a terrorist,"

Katsura flicked his long black hair and adjusted his bloodied katana in his scabbard. 

"I said," he repeated, "I'm not a terrorist, I'm Katsura,"

Obama furrowed his eyebrows, "okay, Katsura, what do you want?"

Katsura smiled and reached closer to Obama. Touching Obama's shoulder, his heart skipped a beat feeling the ex-president's warmth.

"I came to see Obama-san,"

A very loud "wHAT" uttered by the bodyguard in the room could possibly have been heard all the way in Edo, Japan.

*  
In the middle of the night, Shinpachi woke up in cold sweat:  
I could've sworn someone else was being the straight man other than me  
*

"I have heard so many stories about Obama-san," Katsura said, his eyes sparkling with admiration.

Obama averted eye contact, feeling unbearably uncomfortable. 

"The Joui Rebels in Edo will be so much stronger if we get the President of the United States to help us," 

"Eh?? So you ARE a terrorist!" The bodyguard pointed an accusing finger at Katsura, vindicated, "and how are you still in the Edo period of Japan in 2020? What makes you think getting a foreign president will help your internal affairs??? This isn't how you solve politics!!!!"

"Listen, Katsura, I'm flattered that you think of me so highly..." Obama said, removing Katsura's hand on his shoulder and holding it with both hands. The bodyguard saw the hint of a smile as Obama held the Japanese man's muscular hands.

"Sir! Why are you flattered by a compliment from a violent rebel?? This is too OOC!!!" The bodyguard said, only to be casually ignored as Obama continued his melancholic monologue.

"I'm not the president of the United States anymore,"

Katsura's eyes flickered, "no, no this can't be!" 

His once twinkling eyes were now void of light; his heart began to sink into a vast and deep pit of despair. He removed his hand from Obama's grip. Only sadness remained. He felt like a leaf tossed into the wind, lost and alone. He felt sick, he could hardly breathe as waves of anger and sorrow drowned him, filling his lungs with the bitter angst of a 14-year-old girl going through puberty.

The bodyguard took a step back and wanted to leave the room, "oi...oi...what's with the depressing description?! All he's doing is pouting??? Why is everyone being so dramatic???"

"The stories...the people's lives you changed..." Katsura cried, "Obama-san! This can't be!"

"I'm sorry Kotarou," Obama said with dismay, "but my time in office was over a few years ago," 

Katsura gasped, tears welled in his eyes, "no..."

"Shouldn't you have realised that when the place you broke into wasn't the white house?? How did you even break in here when your IQ is less than the number of terms Obama served?? And Sir! When did you know this man's first name??" The bodyguard was on the verge of losing his mind having gone unlistened to for the past 5 minutes.

"This is the new president," Obama showed Katsura a few pictures of Donald Trump on his phone, "he's the one you want," 

Katsura snatched Obama's phone and threw it to the ground, "Obama-san! Why is this silver box only showing me a spicy potato chip in a business suit?! Surely this strange orange man isn't running the country!" 

Katsura held Obama's hands in his, "so what if you're not the president anymore?! Come with me to Japan, our people in Edo need you!" 

"I need you," 

Obama wasn't sure what had come over him, maybe he was still hung up over the fact that America's current president was enjoying himself destroying all the laws and policies he tirelessly produced, or maybe he was desperate for someone who still needed him. Hearing Katsura say those three simple words made him want to drop everything he had.

"I'll do it," Obama said, "I'll come with you to Japan," 

Overcome with joy, the two of them embraced in a hug.

"What is happening??? Sir, what are you doing?? Why is everyone so out of character???" The bodyguard was pulling strands of his hair out of frustration.

"Shut up," Katsura spat, "you're so useless the writer doesn't even want to give you a name," 

The bodyguard threw his hands up in frustration and lied on the ground too tired to react to the rest of the story. 

"Come on, Kotarou, let's pack our bags and go," Obama held the Japanese man's hand.

And so, the ex-president of the United States and the leader of the Joui Rebels exited the study room to prepare to get on the next flight to Japan.

Because that definitely made sense.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is anymore I'm going to sleep


End file.
